Looking Back at 2024
There have been years of my life that the end of the year was significantly different from the beginning. That's how 2024 was for me. This was a year of great progress and growth.
The year started out rough for me. I was sick a couple of times and went to the doctor more than once, and I'm not someone who goes to the doctor every time I get sick. I had a HUGE disappointment in January when I couldn't make the trip to Portland to see The Lion King because the weather was so bad. I was heartbroken! At some point, probably in February, I hurt my shoulder. In March, I started having a lot of heart palpitations, and high blood pressure. At the end of April, I had to have a biopsy to rule out cancer.
At some point, things got normal and I was able to quit going to the doctor for things. And I didn't have anything serious wrong with me. My year got so much better!
I mentioned progress and growth, but so far I've mentioned some really tough things. There is a lot of good! I promise!
Back in January, I was really struggling with sleep. Insomnia has been an issue for me for years. Sometimes It's been a little better than other times, but this has been the biggest physical problem I've had to deal with in the last decade. I've slowly gotten a bit better the last few years, but I've been dependent on prescription sleeping pills each night. So the question would be whether I would sleep okay with my sleeping pills or sleep horribly with my sleeping pills.
Everyone who has known me long knows I've really been on a healing journey the last few years, since my divorce. In January I decided I needed to take another step and integrate moving my body in a healing way, so I started an online somatic exercise course. A couple months later I was still taking the sleeping pills, but sleeping so well!!! This year has turned out to be my best year of sleep since at least 2015, if not before. And it gets better!
Another big change for me in 2024 was a renewed hope for my future. I've always believed I have a purpose. But sometimes it's been hard to believe in good, happy, enjoyable things coming into my life in the future. In 2024, I hoped. I dreamed. I dared to believe. and people around me could see a big difference in me. It's just felt good to be more joy-filled again.
I lost weight during the last year. I didn't diet. I'm really sick of thinking of my body as something to conquer. I want to think of it as something to nourish, befriend, and empower. And somehow with a loving mindset, more healing from my trauma, some days in the gym building muscle, and way more nights of quality sleep than I was getting before, my body has been getting leaner. It's almost like it can start to thrive with better conditions. Who knew?
In September I tried another new thing. I had an opportunity to do two free sessions of neurofeedback, and I jumped on it. Now I go every week. I'll have to share a link with more information, but it's a way of training my brain to do certain things better. Trauma rewires the brain, but those changes don't have to be permanent. Since I've been doing neurofeedback, I've been able to start skipping my sleeping pill. I still need it some nights, but I've gone five nights in a row without it once, and four nights in a row a couple times. I look forward to making that streak longer! This is life-changing. I really didn't think I would ever be able to go off prescription sleeping pills. (I have a link here for more info on neurofeedback, if you're curious what it is: https://youtu.be/VULkRdPPVg4)
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